Continuing on our theme of operating through and overcoming choppy seas, today I want to talk about finding focus. Maybe some of you can relate, but I constantly feel like people are telling me to zone in. Whether I’m rambling on a tangent in a conversation, doing things not on my daily to-do list, or bouncing around between various activities and sports, I always feel like I am spreading myself thin. In this time of isolation, and with my recent health struggles, I have had many hours to reflect on how I fill my days and what is truly important to me. I feel like the last time I had to make, “cuts,” like this to my routine was when I chose horseback riding over dance and basketball in junior high.

As I moved through my freshman and into my sophomore year at college, I tried every single class I could. At my school, you go into your major sophomore year. So freshman year I took printmaking, creative writing, 3D modeling, video, art history, a coding class at MIT, and more. As you can imagine, my brain was reeling, but I loved every minute of it. I learned so many skills I still use today and got to learn from so many different professors who are revered in their individual artistic realms. Sophomore year was a bit of the same, but unlike freshman year, professors in your major started to encourage you to zone in on your, “focus.” Some of you might know by now that I am an industrial designer, but within my major there were many specializations. Some kids loved designing shoes, some cars, others liked to focus on sustainability in the industry and others service design.

When junior year rolled around, things got serious. I was told I needed to do more cohesive projects to be able to successfully promote my portfolio, but I was intimidated by all the kids who came in knowing exactly what they wanted and already were strides ahead of me. In high school I was used to being ahead and liked the freedom of it. Here I felt boxed in and had no idea how to set myself apart other than traveling. I knew I wanted to travel in my future career and so I worked the system as well as I could and took off to India, New Mexico, Scotland (twice), Chicago, and Ireland within two years. Packing and getting on a plane was the only way I felt myself during that time.

Flash forward to sitting in a hospital bed bawling my eyes out because I was told I have Crohn’s Disease. Looking back, I probably should’ve thanked the doctor and cried tears of joy. I was finally given my direction! I know which way to go now! It might be a year out of college, but here I am. I didn’t have to chose between all of my loves in life, I didn’t have to chose service design or fashion or photography. I can do all of those things under the name of The Lovely Digest. The truth is, I got lucky. I was given something that seems terrible, but really gave me a focus for my life’s work. 

Hopefully it won’t be Crohn’s that comes along to define your life, but even if you’re questioning where to go and what to do next, odds are it will come to you in the right time. I could sit here wishing I found this purpose in college, but the reality is that I would’ve had to drop out of school or take time off and that would have probably crushed my spirit too much for anything good to come out of it. Everything happens in its own time. I was so sick of that phrase three months ago, but it is true. I encourage you to dig deeper, evaluate what you have been given. If you’re looking for your next steps in life, whether it be in your relationship, your career, your student life, look at the tools you do have. Make decisions based on what you are rooted in. Looking for a way out of a terrible 9-5, but have a side photography business with a great client following? Pursue it. Odds are that you have all the tools you need to take a leap of faith and find some focus. Let go of all the things that hold you back, but take on anything and everything that has the potential to make you happy and mold you into the person you were meant to be.